Wonderful Life Reflection

This is not my house, but pretty, isn’t it?

This is not even my story, but it’s special because it’s my Dad’s story. 

This season, on our way to dinner with my parents, before seeing “It’s a Wonderful Life” at the Marcus theater. Our family loves this holiday classic, such a good reminder of who you are and that your life makes a difference. My parents are a little like George and Mary Bailey, with family and friends upon friends that mean the world to them. People that would do anything for them, and vice versa.

So we were driving and my Dad pointed out this house on the way. My Dad, a retired firefighter was one of the first paramedics in Addison. He helped start the program.

“That was our first save,” he says. He didn’t elaborate, but I knew what he meant.

The house is now much bigger than what I remember when I was in high school - many renovations, and add-ons. All lit up in holiday lights, beautifully done.

On the way home I want to stop to take a picture. My daughter asks why?
I ask my Dad to tell the story. 

“I already told it 6-7, a few times. I don’t want to brag.” 

“It’s okay. I want to hear it, Dad” 

“That was our first save.”

“What do you mean?” I’m hoping my daughter is listening. 

“That was Addison’s [Addison Fire Department} first save. A paramedic call. We walked in the door, the woman was in the room to the right, and the whole family was in the room upset and crying to the left. They said she was dead. We checked and her eyes were responsive. We had to drag her to the floor and started CPR.”

Her head hit with a thump. ‘whoops’ Dad motions with concern the family was all like “aahhh… ahhhh.”

He continues, “she was wearing a long flowing gown and we started to cut it off,” Dad continues, “again the family was upset, more crying. But we needed to cut the pretty white gown so we could get to her chest, to use the paddles. We hit her a few times and she started to breathe. We got her on the bus [ambulance] and she survived.”

He continued, “Later that year, the family came to the station to thank us. Brought cake, you know, the guys like that.”

“I didn’t greet them. I couldn’t face them.” My Dad continued, always being the tough guy.

“I didn’t want to get emotional in front of the guys. You know the watery eyes and stuff.” 

I could just imagine my Dad in the background watching the family and how their lives would be forever changed because of his action.

In 2023 and your life, this is my wish for you, may you have work, and a passion, so that you remember the stories well into your golden years in such a vivid way, even when you don’t remember what you had for breakfast, as my Dad says. 

You make a difference. Your actions impact not just you but others.

Your life here, the lives you touch matters. So keep being you. 

Love to all. Cheers to 2022 and all that 2023 brings. 

Celebrate Every Little Thing

Just over 5 years ago I was offered an opportunity to work as an artist facilitator for adults with special needs at The Douglas Center. Working side by side with the individuals in the Art From The Heart program, I was inspired by the participants talents, personalities, and determination.

What impressed me even more though is the leadership and vision of the organization – the CEO, Program Directors, Case Managers, DSPs, and Volunteers. As the CEO, Rifath is constantly finding new ways to empower, engage and advocate for the adults with disabilities in her care. She celebrates every little moment. Since I’ve been working as a consultant for the organization, I’ve seen so many initiatives blossom and become part of life at The Douglas Center. 

> Multi-Sensory Therapy Room
> Mosaic Murals created in the Art From The Heart Program
> An Art Gallery with Unique Artistic Expressions
> Adapted Outdoor Sports Recreation Area
> Speakers, Performers, and Employment Assistance 
> Community Collaborations and Partnerships
> Applied Behavioral Analysis Therapy…. and the list continues. 

I miss working one-on-one with the participants, but I’m so proud that I can share their stories and the accomplishments of the staff and volunteers working daily to be a ray of light for individuals with special needs. 

The Douglas Center celebrated 20 years of service this March. When asked about her inspiration, Rifath explained, “People with disabilities are often told what to do, where to go, what to eat, we wanted to have a place where they would have opportunities and choices, not restrictions.”

Would you consider joining me on #GivingTuesday and support The Douglas Center.
If you are not compelled to give to this organization, make sure to support another you are
passionate about. Your contribution will make a difference, whether you donate $5 or $500.
Every little bit helps.

WHAT IF…
WE EMBRACED THE GENEROus SPIRIT OF the Season?

On the Edge of Optimism

It was a cool fall day. My daughter (age 4) and I were having craft time, making paper hearts. They were scattered about the table and floor, all different sizes and colors. I just showed her how to make symmetric hearts, by gently folding the paper, drawing our marks and cutting out our little heart shapes.

As I held the paper in my hand, I began to think of the weeks of uncertainty, and my life which was unraveling. I thought: a heart, not opened is a raindrop or tear.

Then somehow knowingly, the little one bounces over, clutching her folded heart in her hand, “look, Momma… it’s an ice cream cone” as she animates taking a giant lick. 

I’m forever grateful for my little muse for reminding me that not everything is as it seems.

My piece, Perspectives, shown above, is meant to portray that optimism and innocence while teetering on uncertainty.

Often, perspective is all that is needed. It’s not always easy, but here are a few ways to try to regain some balance, as you teeter:

> Take a walk. Literally or figuratively in a new direction, wander a bit in the what if, be patient and inquisitive about your surroundings. Concentrate on the positive.

> Try a new angle. What happens if you focus from very high or low or even push the trial to the peripheral view.  

> A different point of view. Like the eyes of a child., the needs of your audience or the view of your adversary.

> Say it out loud. Say it to a trusted friend. 

> and the ever-constant equalizer, give your thought, emotion, struggle some space and time.

It’s up to you to turn your teardrop into sweet ice cream.

May your tears turn to sweetness, your skies shine blue and your heart remain full. 

Life is full of emotions, conflicts, catastrophes, and annoyances (all parts of life, all temporary). Sometimes easier said than done, but one can try to gain perspective by separating the thing from the experience.

WHAT IF…
you gain perspective and look at your challenge as an opportunity.

Common Day Connection

“Common Day Kahlo” 

As you may know, the College of DuPage will welcome an epic exhibit of the artist Frida Kahlo’s work to the MAC in 2020. Earlier this fall, I went to Frida Fest to celebrate with the community. It was a fun, festive event with music, dancing, art vendors and a lot of individuals dressed for the occasion. As my friend and I walked up the sidewalk, a young girl came right between us from the opposite direction. Something struck a chord, the young girl looked like a replica of the iconic Frida, only with glasses and a cellphone nearly pressed to her nose, oblivious of the happenings around her. I whispered to my friend, look the “Common Day Frida Kahlo”. Pop culture is often lost on me, but the image of a Magritte inspired Frida cracked me up. 

…and made me think. If Frida had the technology we have today, would she have been as prolific with her self-portraits? would she have shared them freely with the world in real-time? Or would we only know her from a selfie-feed? Would she have felt more or less connected to the world while bed-ridden?

Which stirs more questions, are we more connected today or less? How many innovations or creations are not fulfilled because we are so consumed by our technology consumption? Are technological advances truly advancing ideas? at what cost to humanity? Are we more or less connected? How is social media affecting the creation and the pressure of selling our art and sharing our lives? Truly a conundrum.

What do you think? 

I ask myself, as an artist, how the instant gratification and accessibility have changed how we interpret and appreciate art. And as a communications specialist trying to connect communities, services, and funding, how has the introduction of technology and social media affected my career?

There are so many scholars, teachers, employers and parents asking these same questions.

Well, we cannot close Pandora’s box, only acknowledge and question our own habits, because it really isn’t technology at fault, is it?

Here are a few suggestions from the experts, I may need to try myself… 

• Avoid charging your phone by your bed

• Simon Sinek suggests, People before technology: if you are with a group, have one person have the phone for emergencies maybe even to take a picture, but otherwise commit to leaving their phones at home. 

• Take a day off: set aside one day a week and put your phone away

• or… if you are really brave, do a complete reset: Choose a 30 day period to restrict your usage to phone call and text

• Install apps to restrict your access or time

• Changing your phone settings, like simply turning off notifications or setting your screen to black/white might help curb the pull to pick up your phone

• Put your apps in “folders” so you are less likely to mindlessly go through them

• Or even use a physical barrier, like a hairband wrapped around your phone, making the choice to use the phone a conscious one.

WHAT IF…
we put our phone away, to focus on relationships and the present.

Brave Decisions

Remember a time you were at the wrong party, walking down an unfamiliar street or living a life that wasn’t true to you?

You were too far in and didn’t know how to get back. 
What changed? It was the decision to pivot, maybe even a complete 180. 
To get back would mean cutting through, hoping to find the you left behind. 
Only to find, she no longer exists. Today’s story is a bit like that. 

I was at the art museum, at an event that didn’t go as well as I hoped. The weather had been threatening all afternoon. I wandered out to my car through the raindrops. I sensed discomfort and felt compelled to go outside. Don’t know why I felt the pull at that moment. 

As I made my way to the parking lot, I saw a woman fumbling the locked door to the education center with arms full.

“Do you need something,” I asked. 

She said she was an art student, returning supplies. As I got closer, she said the door is usually open, that she was donating art supplies. I mentioned as I continued to my car, that she could go to the front door, maybe they would take them.

She protested “I can’t. I just need to leave them.”

“Don’t do that,” I said. “Just ask.” 

She kept talking as she walked toward the main door. I went to my car, shaking my head, thinking the museum doesn’t have a use for those supplies. On my way back into the building, the woman was coming out, sobbing now. She continued the story of how she ended up here, on this night, at this time. 

I suspect at least part of her story was fabricated, but her distress was real. 

I asked her is this what is distressing you at this moment? 

“I’m an artist, an environmentalist, I can’t throw these out, but they (the people buying her house?) are being unreasonable.” As I look at the items in her arms, spray cans and a container of stripping agent. 

I chided, “what are you a tagger?”
She cracked a smile.
They are not even mine. They were left, but now I don’t know what to do. 

“Let me take these,” I said as I took the cans of spray paint one by one. Lastly, the can of stripper, rusted through.

“I can tell it’s been a long day. Today will be done soon enough.
Tomorrow will look a lot different. You can start over tomorrow.”

She protested through her tears. “But can you use these? I don’t even know if they work?”

“No, but they are weighing heavy on you, so I’ll take them.”

She thanked me profusely and said “everyone thinks I’m crazy – I’m acting crazy.”

“Everyone IS a bit crazy,” I said. “You just have to find the right crazy. You just happened to find a person, that is your kind of crazy, today.”

“What is your name?” I asked.

“Maria…” as she continued her explanations.

“I don’t belong here,” she said. 

I told her I understand the feeling of being displaced. 

“Yes, displaced! that’s what I feel,” she said.
“So now you decided and tomorrow will look much different.”

We took a selfie, as friends do, and I gave her a hug. 

She walked away, lighter in her steps. 

To all the “Maria’s” out there, I hear you, I see you. Make a decision, keep going.

If you’re struggling, reach out and ask for help. Find a meeting. Get a therapist. Call a friend.

We don’t have to do this alone. We were never meant to.

WHAT IF…
in this crazy world, we decided to lighten someone’s load along the way.

What's with the What-ifs

As promised, a little background for my “what if, weekly” – still vaguely ambiguous.
But one thing is clear, I have an incurable case of the what-ifs and don’t want the remedy.

I went to art school in Chicago, studied fine art and design, then worked as a designer/art director for several years. All the while, continually taking classes to fill my creative cup and need for knowledge – realizing every class was yet another tip of the never-ending sea of icebergs.

Upon reflection, I realize the questioning has been a constant for me, especially as a child, and thankfully I never let go of the curiosity. Not quite the child asking “why, why, why” there was another dear friend in the neighborhood that took on that role. Now, I think she is one of the most dramatic storytellers I know. 

I was more like “what if…” an adventurer, a practical optimist and natural inquisitor.

Is there is a unique attribute in DNA related to curiosity? If so, I definitely possess that gene. I’m grateful my parents the precise combination of “what if” and “you can do that.” 

My questioning ways were even more apparent while finishing my undergrad, I wasn’t there to just “get it done.” I was a hand-raiser – asking questions, sending out tangent thoughts and parallels. But more than answers, I noticed, the more I asked questions, the more it opened the door for others to ask their questions, too. Starting a dialogue, the discussion often ending in aha moments.

So whether, in a meeting, when starting a new painting, at a client kick-off meeting or taking in a workshop –  I observe, then ask what if? which usually gravitates to… why? then for who?
and then listen for the answer.

WHAT IF…
we spoke up with curiosity, rather than provided answers with conviction?

Different : Superpower

In this world of mass media, viral marketing, and political unrest, it’s difficult to sift through the clutter and find a message that is true and resonates. 

Although conflict is resolved by meeting in the gray area, I have been contemplating what is the benefit of seeing the world in black and white? Politics are more polarizing than ever. How do we embrace different talents, skills and perspectives to inspire change.

Greta Thunberg, a 16-year-old climate activist has made an impact by standing her ground insisting politicians take action and realize the climate crisis as an existential threat. Her passion is clear, as it is blunt, without concern of social grace.

She is open about being on the autism spectrum. Individuals with this diagnosis are usually renowned for being direct, speaking their mind, honest, and having a strong sense of social justice.

But, what if Greta didn’t have Aspergers?
Would she have the impact she has had?
…or maybe she would be a “very happy young girl looking forward to a bright & wonderful future…” as #DT45 tweeted after her pointed UN speech.

Her superpower is her (dis)ability. In interviews she remains calm yet passionate, her face almost expressionless, with a neutral tone and flat affect. This is her weapon, not caring about social codes while delivering declarative views on climate change. 

If she was “just any happy young girl” would she have been so hyper-focused and dedicated to this cause in the wake of mockery. Would she have made an impact on the media or inspired her generation and others to march in protest? 

She is reacting to her world in her own perspective, black or white. In a recent interview she said if people are making fun of her personally, it’s because they don’t have any other platform to stand on - truly insightful.

This young girl is acting more mature than most adults. 

“She has become the symbol and the lightning spark that so many of us had been waiting for,” reported the organization We Don’t Have Time.

You might not agree with her idealistic view of climate change, but her relentless passion is being heard. Inspiring ideas of inclusion, acceptance and action.

What is your passion? Your truth - black and white. Your different view.

What if…
we embraced our differences, use them like superpowers?

Wake Up - Max. Capacity

Woke up to a kitty paw on my forehead, first gentle-like. Then… a swat.

Indulged the unruly kitten. Went downstairs and gave the monster some kibble. I proceeded to remind her of the plethora of toys available for early morning romping and went back to bed. 

4 am - perfect timing for my brain to start spinning…
with should haves, need to, check lists, to dos.
People to contact, emails to write, client stories to tell, projects to finish and start. 

4:30am - the overwhelm coaxes me out of bed, back downstairs and in front of the computer. 

I open Gmail to fire off some quick notes…
error. “cannot send or receive” 

m a x  c a p a c i t y

Now my options are edit the inbox or order more data… and so the mass deletion starts.

This week’s reoccurring theme has been…
“Make time for what matters. Let go of what does not”
in email, facebook, Instagram, a book I’m devouring, artists group pages, even my yoga practice.

This blog idea… my “what if” Wednesday post
has been rattling around in my mind, my journals,
my thoughts for ages. 

The idea is still in flux – stories to tell, ideas to inspire, humanity to share.
… today’s wake up paw was a good reminder to start, even if you are not ready.

My current situation allows for a lot
but I’ve been filling my life, studio, new home to… m a x  c a p a c i t y.

Now that I have started, I’m committing myself to what matters to me, showing up and sharing a weekly “what if,” with a gracious heart and adventurous spirit.
I’ll share more about what’s with this what if next week.

In the meantime, I know your days may be filled with “have to” and “musts” but 

What if… 
you edit, even one thing and let in more of what matters?

What is your what if…

1001 reasons

why today? why now?

10-01 = October First

if not now… when?